


Back to You - Part 1

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Futurefic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-28
Updated: 2003-04-28
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:05:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with a case of mistaken identity, but Lex eventually grows close to someone.  Except it's not Clark.  Part 1 of 3.  (This first part starts with Lex/other, but the series moves towards Clark/Lex.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to You - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of 3. And yes, I stole the title from the John Mayer song. All parts available at the Smallville Slash Archive (<http://smallville.slashdom.com/>) or at my own Web site (<http://www.sjlee.org/smallville/>). 

## Back to You - Part 1

by Hecubus

<http://www.sjlee.org/smallville/>

* * *

Disclaimer: Smallville and its characters belong to the WB and DC Comics. I don't own any of it. This story is for entertainment purposes only. 

Author's 

* * *

Lex swayed slightly as he got up from the couch and made his way to the door. He had been sitting in the back office of the club for hours now. It had started with business. He had made a surprise visit to check on the books, see how the preparations for the five-year anniversary celebration were going, and it had turned into sitting around and having a few drinks with the manager. The manager eventually had to excuse himself to help finish making arrangements for the evening, but Lex decided to stick around, drinking glass after glass of scotch alone in the back. 

Emerging from the back corner, Lex moved through the balcony of the club. People recognized him, but nobody said anything, nobody approached him. He knew they were looking, watching, but he almost convinced himself that for just one second, he might truly be anonymous, faceless, unknown. His eyes moved over the hundreds of people dancing, talking, and drinking and he saw nothing, nobody in particular when suddenly, a man caught his eye. The man had been laughing and had briefly turned around, eyes happening to look up at the spot where Lex leaned lazily on the balcony railing. He smiled briefly, making eye contact with Lex, and then turned back to the woman he was talking to at the bar. Lex had held the man's gaze out of shock, confusion, surprise. Clark? he thought to himself. No, it couldn't be. Clark had left Smallville to go to Kansas State three years ago and considering it was the middle of the fall semester, he should still be there, not here at a club in Metropolis, catching Lex drunk and off-guard. 

But he looked so much like him. Tall and lean with thick black hair, soft green eyes and that unforgettable smile. Lex blinked rapidly and tried to focus his eyes. No, he was right-- it wasn't Clark. Moving a little closer, concentrating a little more, Lex could see it definitely wasn't Clark. The man was young, but clearly older than Clark, his hair shorter, less unruly, and brown eyes, not green. Plus, Lex realized he was wearing rather expensive clothes and the man moved differently than Clark, with the sort of confidence that bordered on cockiness. No, it wasn't Clark, but it certainly took a moment for Lex to get over the resemblance. 

When he had come to his senses, Lex decided that mistaking random men for young farmboys meant that it was time to go home. He shook his head, trying to clear the image from his mind, and started down the stairs. He walked past the bar towards the exit when he was stopped by a hand on his arm. Lex turned around to find the Clark look-alike smiling at him. 

"Hi," he said, slowly letting go of Lex's arm, letting his fingers brush lightly over Lex's. 

"Hello," Lex said flatly, trying to hide his nervousness. 

"Are you leaving?" 

"That was my plan." 

"Come on, stay awhile," the man said, smiling again. 

Lex chuckled slightly at the man's familiarity with him, but shook his head. "No, I've got to go." 

"Please?" he said, pouting slightly. "Just one dance?" 

Lex hesitated, but he was drawn in by the little pout of his lips. "Well, okay." 

"Great," the man said, smiling broadly. God, when he did that, he really did look like Clark. "I'm David." 

"Lex. Lex Luthor," he answered, shaking David's hand. 

"Nice to meet you," David said simply. He probably knew very well who Lex was, but it was nice of him to act like he didn't. 

"Likewise," Lex answered and smiled. 

* * *

David Hudson was twenty-six, only two years younger than Lex, and worked as a venture capitalist just down the street from the main LexCorp buildings. He was ivy-league educated, successful and charismatic. For having just met in a noisy club, there was little awkwardness or strangeness between Lex and David. They were two people who were used to having to talk to new people, unafraid of what others might think about them. They were also two people who weren't afraid to flirt shamelessly-- at one point, it almost became a pissing contest over who could be smoother, more suave, more charming. But their one-upmanship was out of an undeniable attraction. 

David knew who Lex was, of course, but he usually saw him in the paper or on the news. The few times he had seen him in person, happening to be at the same business or social function, David had noticed Lex, but always thought of him as "Mr. Luthor" and in terms of the place he held in the business world. While he had always thought he was attractive, David had always been more concerned with his respect and admiration for Lex's ambition and success. But in the club, the last place he thought he would get to actually meet Lex Luthor, David saw something different in him, something he was inexplicably drawn to. Perhaps it was the smoke in the air or the four martinis he had drank, but to David, Lex seemed younger, more accessible, more relaxed. Part of him wondered if Lex was at the club acting out his wild streak, leftover rebellious tendencies from his infamous youth-- a thought that intrigued David. But as he observed Lex, he didn't see a wild teen out of control, but a young man who had a defiant, sexually-charged energy, tempered by experience, education and success-- something that David couldn't resist. 

And yes, Lex was drawn to David as well. At first, he had noticed the young man because he looked so much like his friend, his formerly teen-aged savior, but Lex was definitely attracted to David because of more than that. David had poise-- long limbs that moved gracefully, handsome face with beautiful eyes and a warm smile. He was articulate, funny and real-- Lex knew that given David's background, his work, it would have been easy, almost expected of him to be constructed, fake, and overly cordial, especially with someone like Lex, but instead, a refreshing sincerity and genuine quality shone through. Lex had to admit that David shared that trait with Clark as well. 

Lex was a perfect gentleman that night at the club. He offered to give David a ride home in the limo and instead of trying to follow him upstairs into his apartment, Lex opted for a brief, but very real kiss and a promise to see each other again. 

* * *

(A few months later) 

Lex and David sat in bed together, papers strewn about the covers. David had braved the cold morning air to pad down to the kitchen and bring back two steaming cups of coffee, light and sweet for himself and black for Lex. They had woken up early that morning, making love as the sun came up, but now they sat around getting a start on the long day of work ahead of them. Newspapers, business proposals, research articles, and legal documents were spread out in piles on top of the bed, David gently resting his hand on Lex's thigh as the two of them worked and chatted idly. 

"Are you going to the museum tonight?" David asked, taking a sip of his coffee, eyes focused on the thick business proposal in front of him. 

"The wing opening?" Lex asked, absent-mindedly caressing David's hand on his thigh as he read the paper. "Yeah, I guess. You'll be there right?" 

"Yeah, I have to. We're on the plaque, after all," David answered, referring to the fact that his company, along with LexCorp and other businesses, had donated money to renovate and reopen the East Asian wing of the Metropolis MOMA. "Who are you bringing?" 

"Jessica," Lex said with only a slight amount of annoyance in his voice. "She's been on my back all month about taking her out again, so I figure I'll take her to this thing where I can unload her onto someone else while I mingle." 

"Gee, Lex, you're such a romantic," David said blandly as he turned the page. 

"What about you?" 

"Eh, I think I'm going stag," David said, shrugging his shoulders. "You know I don't like to take dates to these things." 

Lex put his paper down for a moment, turning his head to look at David. "You know, David, I don't mind. If we can't go together, I'd rather you bring someone else." 

"I know, Lex," David said, nodding his head, but still focused on the document in front of him. "And I don't mind if you bring someone. It just doesn't feel right to me. Besides, unlike you, nobody notices if I don't have a date, so it doesn't matter." 

Lex sighed quietly before picking up his paper again and saying, "Okay. Whatever you want." 

* * *

While Lex knew very clearly that despite the resemblance, David wasn't Clark, Lex couldn't help being reminded of his old friend. When Clark had decided to go away to school, Lex had been disappointed, but took it as an opportunity for him to finally leave Smallville himself and push ahead with LexCorp in Metropolis. Clark and Lex emailed occasionally during Clark's freshman year, trying to keep in touch, but as time wore on, they both grew busy. Clark came home less often and Lex visited Smallville even less than Clark. Lex still cared for Clark and figured Clark felt the same way, but time and distance had let them grow apart. After all, out of sight is out of mind. 

But Lex still felt like a part of him was missing and David seemed to fill that void. Lex and David saw each other often, going out for drinks or dinner, talking on the phone, spending late nights eating greasy Chinese food while they sat together at the penthouse, each focused on whatever they had to do for work, but enjoying the company and the comfortable silence between them. Lex had never been with anyone like David before. The few times he had bothered to actually date anyone, it had always been women like Victoria who, when they weren't trying to steal corporate secrets from him, sat around, looking pretty and waiting around for the next time they either had sex or went out to some ridiculously expensive restaurant or lavish business function. Lex and David didn't really go out as a couple together-- Lex trying to keep his sexuality private and David trying to keep his association with Lex to a minimum-- and yes, the sex was great-- sometimes slow and sweet, sometimes fast and hard-- but they shared a deeper connection. Even though Lex was miles above David in the business hierarchy, they were both young men who had left their peers behind long ago, fast-tracked on the road to success, and as such, they felt comfortable together, talking about business, politics, social issues and the occasional philosophical argument over the differing moralities of the fictional Warrior Angel and apparently, the very real Batman. Neither felt inadequate or intimidated by the other-- they rarely tired of each other, each bringing their own accomplishments, talents and personality to the table. It wasn't exactly a partnership-- they didn't need each other-- but it was a comfortable relationship marked by an inexplicable familiarity and ease. 

* * *

(March) 

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," Lex said as the limo pulled up to the curb. Lex and David were both attending a sort of conference/vacation in Las Vegas and while each were bringing their own respective female guests, they hoped to spend a little time together while they were away. Lex had offered to take David and his guest, Rachel, to the airport on his way to a meeting on the other side of Metropolis. 

"When does your flight get in again?" David asked as he threw some last minute items into his briefcase. 

"Around nine. I should be at the hotel by ten at the latest." 

"Okay," David said, starting to get up and sneaking in a brief kiss before the driver opened the door. Rachel was an old friend of David's and knew about his relationship with Lex. She understood their need for discretion and was happy to serve as David's beard for the trip-- it was a free week in Vegas after all. 

"Bye," Lex said as he watched Rachel and David get out of the limo. "Bye Rachel." 

"Bye, Lex," Rachel said, smiling and waving. "Thanks for the ride." 

Lex smiled back and the driver shut the door. Lex promptly took out his phone to start his morning round of calls. 

* * *

Venture capitalists had come from all over the country for the conference as well as the opportunity to play for a few days in Vegas. Tonight was the one black-tie event with almost everyone coming together to have a six-course meal while listening to keynote speakers from leading companies, including KPCB and LexCorp. With the technology sector finally gaining momentum again after the initial drop in 2001, Lex had decided to start a venture fund that was small to him, but substantial to everyone else, and had managed to get quite lucky on a number of investments. 

"Rachel, you look lovely, as usual," Lex greeted as Rachel walked up to him. Everybody was mingling outside the hotel ballroom before the main banquet. 

"Thank you," Rachel said, smiling. She was dressed in a black satin gown, dark straight hair falling over bare, tan shoulders. "David should be down in a minute. He had a last minute tuxedo crisis." 

"I'm sure he did," Lex said chuckling. He was dressed in a classic tuxedo, finely tailored, of course, to closely follow the lines of his lean frame. 

"Hey Lex," David said as he gracefully rushed to Rachel's side, straightening his jacket and running his hands through his hair. David and Lex had hardly had time to even say hi to each other since arriving at the conference. 

"David," Lex greeted, smiling softly as he casually looked him up and down. David really is a good-looking man, he thought to himself. And he looked good next to Rachel, both tall with chiseled features and dark, shiny hair. 

"Come on, they're going to be starting soon. Michelle's already inside," Lex said as he gestured toward the ballroom doors. Michelle was one of the women he had been seeing on and off for the past few months as a cover for his relationship with David. She was beautiful, of course, dark auburn hair and emerald green eyes. She was nice enough, but she didn't know about Lex and David, much less about Lex's sexuality in general. She was staying with Lex in the presidential suite while at the conference, but he had been avoiding consummating their relationship under auspices of chivalry and propriety. She was understanding and almost flattered by his modesty, but she was also starting to get anxious and clingy, and Lex knew he would have to end it soon after they returned to Metropolis. 

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" Lex asked as they walked toward the ballroom, slowing down a bit to talk to David before they had to part ways again to head toward their separate tables. 

"I don't know," David answered, keeping his voice low. "I have a couple meetings in the morning, but the afternoon is free. I think Rachel is going to the spa." 

"So is Michelle," Lex said quickly. "Do you want to come up to my suite after lunch?" 

"Of course," David said, smiling. He patted Lex innocently on the arm and walked away. 

* * *

The two couples met up at the conference's hospitality suite after the banquet, having cocktails and chatting while silent ESPN recaps of the NCAA championship games played in the background on the bar's large TV screens. 

"Lex! It's good to see you," a voice called out. Lex turned to find Martin Goodwright, a KPCB VC from the San Francisco Bay area that Lex had worked with a few months ago. Lex's sizable returns from his new venture fund had impressed even heavy hitters like Goodwright. 

"Good to see you too," Lex greeted, standing up to shake the man's hand. "Martin, this is Michelle Turner and Rachel Winston. And I think you already know David." 

"Hello, Michelle, Rachel. And of course, David," Martin said as he smiled at the two women and shook David's hand. "I didn't realize you two knew each other." 

"Oh well," David answered casually, "everyone in the Metropolis VC game knows everyone else in town, don't they?" 

"Oh I'm sure," Martin agreed, smiling. "I wish I could get out there more. The Midwest has such a unique... charm about it." 

"Yes, Midwestern winters with their six feet of snow and wind chill factor are, I'm sure, very `charming' compared to the sunny skies and warm weather of California," Lex teased. 

"Of course, of course," Martin chuckled. He was an older man, in his early forties with graying hair and red cheeks from the many glasses of wine he had helped himself to during dinner. "So, Michelle," he said, changing the subject, "when are you going to make Lex an honest man?" 

"Oh, who knows?" Michelle, answered laughing and throwing her hands up in mock exasperation. "Lex has never struck me as the family type." 

"Oh, I don't know about that," Martin said. "With a woman as beautiful as you in his life, I don't know how he could resist." 

"Yes, she is beautiful," Lex cut in, trying to keep the conversation light. It was all just a bunch of bullshitting among business associates, but he knew it might make David uncomfortable. "But I don't know if I'm quite ready to put a ring on anybody's finger yet." 

"Ah Lex," Martin said, slapping Lex on the back. "To be young and ever the billionaire playboy!" 

* * *

Lex and David sat on the couch in Lex's suite, David's head resting on Lex's chest, arms around each other. They had decided to avoid actually having sex during the trip for fear of being caught by Michelle, who had the nasty habit of returning from activities earlier than she was supposed to. Instead, they sat around cuddling and lazily watching television in Lex's suite while Rachel and Michelle were at the spa. 

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" Lex asked David casually. 

"Depends on what the question is." 

"Why did you come up to me that night in the club?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, you knew who I was, and for all you knew, I was straight. What made you decide to ask me to dance?" 

"I don't know," David said, shrugging his shoulders and thinking back to that first night. "I guess I thought you were straight, but I had always thought you were attractive, you know, when I saw you at business functions or in the news. And I don't think I would have just come up to you and introduced myself anywhere else, but at the club, I don't know, you seemed... more accessible." David paused for a moment, considering Lex's question a bit more. "And you seemed like you wanted me to approach you." 

"In what way?" Lex responded. "I was on my way out, if I remember correctly." 

"Yeah, but you were looking at me before you started to leave," David said as he raised his head to look at Lex. "I saw you. There was something about the look you gave me that made me feel like I should talk to you, that you wanted me to talk to you." 

Lex met David's gaze, taking in the picture of his face and remembering how much he looked like Clark. "You're braver than most," he said. 

"I know," David said, smiling and resting his head again on Lex's chest. "What about you? Why were you looking at me in the first place?" 

"You're a good-looking man, David," Lex answered wondering if he should tell David why he was really looking at him. "You know that." 

"Maybe," David said with a question in his voice. "But there was something in your eyes." 

Lex sighed and answered truthfully, albeit vaguely, "Let's just say you reminded me of someone, someone that I was once very close to." 

"I see," David said simply, wondering who that person might be and what he meant to Lex. 

"But that wasn't the only thing," Lex added quickly, trying to reassure David. "There was something else about you that I was drawn to. And when I got to know you better, I realized that there were countless things about you that I was attracted to. Am still attracted to." 

"That's good to know," David said, smiling slightly. So what if Lex had first talked to him because he reminded him of someone else? Lex had chosen to stay with David because he was David, not some memory. 

Lex and David lay in silence together for a little while, holding each other and relaxing in each other's warmth and closeness. "I should get going," David sighed after a while as he slowly rose from the couch. "Rachel is probably back by now and I told her we'd go play a couple hands of Blackjack." 

"Yeah, Michelle will probably be back soon, too," Lex said as he got up and stretched his legs. 

"I wish I could just stay here with you," David said as they walked to the door. 

"I know. But you know it's better this way." 

David simply nodded, looking into Lex's eyes. There was an intensity behind those blue eyes that David could never tire of. He moved closer to kiss Lex goodbye, holding the embrace a little longer than usual, and then found himself simply saying, "I love you." 

Lex just gazed back at him, smiling slightly, eyes warm, but somehow sad. David pulled away, returning his smile, and then opened the door to leave. 

* * *

I don't know why I just said that, David thought to himself as he walked down the hallway and stepped onto the elevator. He had always been an open man, never afraid of expressing his feelings, but Lex and David had always avoided taking their relationship too seriously. Yes, they were close, comfortable, and cared deeply for each other-- that was clear just by their behavior, how they treated each other-- but because they kept their relationship such a secret, because Lex had never said that he intended to come out to the public with his sexuality or their relationship, they avoided the whole "love" issue. David thought to himself that perhaps being here at the conference, watching Lex on display with Michelle on his arm, he felt some need to reaffirm his connection with Lex, prove to himself rather than Lex that he wasn't just some boy toy that could be so easily pushed aside when society and public appearance necessitated. Even knowing this, David didn't regret saying those words to Lex. It was how he felt, it was the truth, and even if Lex didn't say them back to him, David wouldn't be sorry for feeling what he felt. 

* * *

Lex sipped his glass of wine and stared out the window, gazing out over the city as Michelle recounted her experiences at the spa over dinner. Lex nodded politely, throwing in a comment or a question here and there, but he was preoccupied with what David had said earlier that day. He wasn't particularly shocked by David's words. He was touched, deep feelings of friendship and care for David rushing through him at the sound of his words, but Lex also knew immediately that he didn't love David back. Well, yes, he loved David in the sense that he cared for him deeply, valued his friendship and was certainly attracted to him, but he wasn't _in_ love with him. Lex had never felt so comfortable, so at peace with anyone like he did with David (well, except for perhaps Clark, but Clark and Lex had never dated) and he wondered if he was even capable of falling in love anymore if he couldn't do it with someone like David. Despite these thoughts, Lex didn't want to stop seeing David and he decided not to mention it unless David brought it up. Even though he wasn't in love with him, David was a part of his life, of him, and Lex didn't want to lose that. 

"Lex, are you alright?" Michelle asked, seeing Lex sigh and put his glass down. 

"What?" Lex said, looking at her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just got a little distracted by the view." 

"It's okay," Michelle said, smiling softly and looking out the window. "It is a beautiful view. All those people down there, going about their individual lives, their individual dramas day in and day out. So many possibilities." 

"Yeah," Lex said, sighing again. "You never know where you could find yourself." 

* * *

(May) 

David collapsed on the sofa in Lex's study, tie hanging loose around his neck, suit jacket thrown over the back of the sofa. 

"Tough day?" Lex asked from his desk, eyes focused on his laptop and fingers tapping away. 

"Yeah, I've been running around to meetings all day long," David answered, kicking off his shoes and lying down on the couch. 

"Sorry. If it's any consolation, I've been cooped up in my office all day staring at a computer screen. I don't know what's worse." 

"Me neither. I could just go to sleep right now." 

Lex nodded as he continued to work, trying to finish up a report before dinner. "Hey, are you going to that charity benefit at the Plaza?" 

"The one for the Metropolis AIDS Foundation?" David asked, eyes closed and relaxing in the quiet of the study. 

"Yeah, it's next week," Lex said. "I'm thinking about taking Deborah. What about you?" 

"I don't know," David muttered. 

"Come on, David," Lex sighed, still focused on his computer. "I know you don't like taking dates to these things, but you can't go stag forever. What about Rachel? If you took her, at least you wouldn't have the awkward post-evening goodbye kiss." 

"Maybe," David answered half-heartedly. 

"Okay, well, I could set you up with someone, too," Lex suggested. "What about Christina from Morgan Stanley? Or Megan from Citibank?" 

"No, Lex," David said with greater insistence. "I don't feel comfortable doing that. I'd rather stay home than be forced to take some accommodating female friend or clueless woman on some sham date." 

Lex stopped typing and looked up at David's words. He knew David preferred to be portrayed as the lonely bachelor rather than the promiscuous playboy, but Lex hated seeing David continually alone at these functions. If he had to put up with Lex taking dates to these events, he should be able to take someone as well. But he also knew he couldn't convince David to do anything he didn't want to do. 

"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push. It's up to you," Lex apologized, logging off of his laptop. 

"It's okay," David said, sighing as he sat up on the couch and stood up. "By the way, I can't stay over tonight. I have to go back into the office after dinner." 

"Okay, well, I think dinner's ready now," Lex said as he walked over to David and kissed him on the forehead, taking his hand. "Let's eat so you can get back to the office. I don't want you to be working too late." 

"Okay," David said as he followed Lex into the dining room. 

* * *

(A few weeks later) 

Lex loosened his tie as he walked into his study. David entered the room soon after, already out of his suit and into old jeans and a t-shirt. 

"Hey," David greeted as he headed over to Lex, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. 

"Hey," Lex said, smiling up at David before picking up a pile of mail on his desk. 

"How was your day?" 

"Good. Busy. What about you?" 

"Okay," David answered as he sat down on the sofa. "I left the office early and decided to take advantage of your Jacuzzi." 

"That's what it's there for," Lex said as he looked through a series of letters from charity organizations asking for donations. 

"Oh, and a Clark Kent called for you." 

Lex's head snapped up at David's words. "What?" 

"Clark Kent," David repeated. "He called for you." 

"Did he say what he wanted?" Lex asked, trying to hide his surprise, his excitement. 

"Just that he was going to be in Metropolis next month and wanted to catch up with you. His number's on your desk," David said, pointing at the note on Lex's desk. 

"Oh, okay," Lex said as he picked up the note and examined it. "Thanks." 

"No problem." 

* * *

"Hello?" Clark said, picking up the phone. 

"Clark. It's Lex," Lex said, trying to sound casual, trying to hide the nervous excitement in his voice. 

"I know it's you," Clark said, smiling. "I could recognize your voice anywhere." 

Lex smiled at that, relaxing at Clark's immediate warmth after all these years apart. "It's good to hear your voice. Your message said you were going to be in Metropolis next month?" 

"Yeah, I got a job with _The_ _Daily_ _Planet_." 

"Congratulations. I always knew you'd go far." 

"Thanks," Clark said, smiling again. He missed how Lex always seemed to believe in him, no matter what. "I'm looking forward to it, but I'm even more excited about getting to see you again. I know we've kind of drifted apart over the years, but you know I never forgot you." 

"I know, Clark. I'm excited to see you again too," Lex answered, feeling a bit sentimental. "And I could never forget you. You saved my life, after all." 

"Well, I'd like to think our friendship is about more than that day on the bridge." 

"Well, Clark, you saved my life on many more occasions than that, but yes, you know you're one of the few people in this world that I call a friend." 

"Me too, Lex," Clark said softly. He was saddened to be reminded how few friends Lex had, but was glad to know that he was still one of them. "And maybe we can do a better job of being friends now that we'll be in the same town again." 

"Definitely," Lex agreed. "Why don't you give me a call when you get into town and we'll get together?" 

"Sure. I should be moving into my apartment around the second week of June." 

"Sounds great. I'll talk to you then." 

* * *

(June) 

David woke up, sensing Lex's absence from the bed. He sat up, pulling his pajama bottoms on, and left the bedroom in search of his lover. He found Lex sitting on the balcony, glass of scotch in his hand and looking out over the city. David sighed as he stood in the doorway, looking at Lex's face that was practically glowing from the moonlight. Lex really is beautiful, he thought to himself, his tight sinewy muscles moving under pale, flawless skin. 

"I can't do this anymore," David said, catching Lex's attention. 

"I'm sorry," Lex said, looking over to where David stood. "I didn't mean to wake you. I couldn't sleep." 

"I'm not talking about the sleepless nights, Lex, although this is the third time this week alone," David said as he stepped onto the balcony. 

"Then what are you talking about?" 

"This. Us," David said, gesturing between them. 

"What?" Lex said in a surprised voice, turning his body to face David. 

"Lex, I love you. You know that," David said, sighing as he sat down next to Lex. "But I don't know if I can be with you like this anymore." 

"What do you mean `like this'?" 

"Like a big secret," David answered, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. "Feeling myself fall in love with you more and more everyday, but always having to hide our relationship, act like we're just casual acquaintances whenever we're seen together. Feeling like I'm this thing you have to hide from the world." 

"David," Lex started, trying to remain calm. "I thought we had made this clear from the beginning." 

"Yeah, well, maybe things have changed," David muttered. 

"And as far as society has come," Lex continued, "it still doesn't readily accept the idea of a prominent and powerful gay man-- at least not in the Midwest and not in the often conservative world of corporate business. And it's not just about me, David. This would ruin your reputation, too." 

"I know, Lex, I know," David said, anticipating Lex's argument-- he'd gone through it in his own head a thousand times. "I don't want to have everyone wondering if my success is a result of my talent as a VC or as a good lay, but I don't think I can do this anymore. Maybe if you weren't so famous, maybe if I was a stronger person, this, this arrangement would work, but lately, it's been taking a toll on me." 

"Is this about what happened in Vegas?" 

"Yes. No. I don't know." 

"David, you must know how much I care about you," Lex said as he placed a comforting hand on David's thigh. "It's just that my life doesn't exactly have room for falling in love and sentimentality." 

"That's just it, Lex," David said pointedly, lifting his head to look Lex in the eye. "I think I've grown to know you pretty well over all these months and I know that you're capable of love, of falling in love. It's just that you're not in love with me." 

"That's not it... it's just..." Lex stammered. 

"No, Lex, that is it," David cut off, removing Lex's hand from his leg and standing up to pace around the expansive terrace. "You always go for what you want and you don't let anyone stand in your way. If the world doesn't play by the same rules you do, you don't just fold-- you change the whole game, make everyone else play by your rules," he said, pointing at Lex. "Even though we've kept our relationship a secret supposedly because of what the rest of the world might think, it's really because you're not in love with me and because you aren't, the public relations challenge, the risk just isn't worth it to you." 

Lex remained silent, knowing that what David said was true and while he didn't expect to have this conversation in the middle of the night out on the balcony, he had always known that their relationship would come to this. 

David turned around to look at Lex when he didn't say anything, stilling for a moment in the silence. "You know, when I took that message from Clark Kent, I asked your assistant about him." 

"What does he have to do with anything?" Lex asked, genuinely confused. 

"Michael told me he was the one who saved you on the bridge that day in Smallville. He told me you were very close to him when you lived there, so I just wrote him off as an old friend of yours, but when I saw how excited you seemed to hear that he had called, I dug around in your old photos from Smallville." 

"I wasn't that excited," Lex muttered, fearing where David was taking this line of conversation and slightly annoyed at David's invasion of privacy. 

"Lex, you might think you're fooling everyone, but I saw how happy you were to get his message," David said condescendingly. "In any case, I found old pictures of him-- I mean, there weren't that many photos to look through, but he must be the young teen-aged boy in most of them." 

"What's your point?" 

"He's younger, a little more dewy and fresh faced, but he does look a lot like me." David paused for a moment, searching Lex's face. "Is he the one you were talking about when you said I reminded you of someone, of someone close to you?" 

"Yes," Lex said, acting exasperated, but wondering if David would figure out the feelings he kept for Clark. "But like I said, I was attracted to you because of more than that. He saved my life, for chrissake, so yes, he'll always hold a special place in my life, but I haven't even seen him in years." 

"Yes, but he means something to you," David said softly. Again, Lex remained quiet and his silence answered the question in David's mind. "You're not close to many people, Lex, and if Michael tells me you were close to Clark in Smallville, if I find pictures of him when I know you rarely keep any personal photos, if I see how excited you get just to hear that he called, and if I see how quiet you get when I ask about him now, I have to think that he means much more to you that you're willing to admit-- to me or to yourself." David paused to step closer to Lex and said in a near whisper, "Lex, I know you're not in love with me, but are you in love with a memory?" 

Lex looked up at him and the look on his face hinted that David might be right. Of course, David wasn't sure if he was right, if Lex really was in love with this Clark Kent from Smallville-- the boy did save his life, after all, and it was only natural for Lex to have a special attachment to him. But David thought that by bringing this up, Lex would examine his own feelings, his own capacity for love-- something David knew existed. 

"Look, I've met someone," David said, changing the subject back to the original point of the conversation. 

"You've met someone?" Lex said, finally speaking again. "You're cheating on me?" 

"Cheating on you?" David laughed, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Please, I'm not the one who's dating nearly every society woman in town." 

"You know I've never slept with any of them!" Lex said, annoyed at the accusation. "I've haven't been with anyone else except you!" 

"I know, Lex, I know! And I haven't been with anyone else either!" David said in a frustrated voice. "Look, I'm just saying that I've been spending some time with someone new and it's made me realize that you're just not ready to give me the things that I finally realize I want," he said in an exhausted voice. 

"And what's that?" Lex said almost defensively. "Marriage? Children?" he spat out sarcastically. 

"Honesty. Love," David said quickly. "Look, I know you never promised me anything when we first got together. I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying that I realized that this isn't enough." 

Lex sighed, taking in David's words, knowing that he had lost him. "I'm sorry. I really am," he said, his voice tired and hoarse as a lump grew in his throat. "I just can't give you anything more than this." 

"I know, Lex," David said softly, feeling his eyes well up with his own tears. "I know." 

David stood and walked inside, heading toward the bedroom. Lex remained on the balcony, putting his scotch down on the table next to him and sighing. What David had said about Clark hit a nerve in him, but he was more concerned with the break-up. He had known it would eventually come to his, but he had tried to keep it at the back of his mind, trying to make the best of their time together and all around avoiding the inevitable. And now that he was forced to think about it, forced to face it, he realized just how much he cared for David and what a big part of Lex's life David had become. When Clark had left for school, Lex had jumped into life in Metropolis and making LexCorp grow. He busied himself with work and going out, but a strange feeling had settled in him. He was lonely. That was probably why he had found himself drinking alone in the back of the club that night. He had gone back to being "Lex Luthor," a man separated from the world by his money, status, and appearance. He never really had a problem with it before, but while living in Smallville, while knowing Clark, he had gotten a taste of friendship, of companionship, of feeling connected to something, someone. He had thought he would never find that again-- until he met David. 

But Lex supposed that if David filled that void in him, he deserved to have Lex fulfill his needs as well. And as David so clearly pointed out, Lex could not and would not do that. Lex rose from his chair and made his way inside, closing the balcony doors behind him. He saw the light from his bedroom leaking out into the hallway and pushed the door open, stopping in the doorway and finding David packing the few things he kept at Lex's. 

"I thought it would be easier if I just left now," David said, sensing Lex's presence but continuing to empty out drawers. 

Lex nodded, refusing to enter the room, choosing to just watch David as he slowly removed his things from Lex's bedroom, from Lex's life. "You know, I really do love you," he said softly. 

"I know," David said, stopping for a moment and sighing. He had known Lex loved him for a while now, but it still felt good to hear him say it. Even if it was under these circumstances. "And I love you, too. I think I always will." 

"Do you promise to at least call once in a while?" Lex asked tentatively. "Let me know you're okay, what's going on in your life?" 

"Of course," David said, looking up at Lex. "I'll always be your friend, Lex. But I want something more than that with someone. And be able to tell the world about it too." 

"Of course," Lex said, nodding again and giving David a small smile. "You deserve it." 

Lex turned to go to the entertainment room to watch TV, leaving David alone to pack. 

To be continued... 


End file.
